


Boxes of Emotion

by amaranth827



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Drabble Collection, Emotions, Hurt Daryl Dixon, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-18 12:19:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 6,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12387951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaranth827/pseuds/amaranth827
Summary: Drabbles written for challenge at livejournal but they also go along with the multi-chapter story I am writing for The Walking Dead.These drabbles mostly focus on Daryl Dixon and his relationship with the other characters.Daryl Dixon/Rick Grimes are to focus relationship for most of this but Daryl and Jesus, Daryl and Aaron, and possible Daryl and Negan will be explored. All other character relationships are in the background or just mentioned.Disclaimer: I don’t claim to own the character of The Walking Dead or to have anything to do with the show. I just like to use the characters as toys in my imagination. Sorry Daryl! I write these just for fun, no profit was made!





	1. Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings That May or May not Apply to Each Chapter: May contain Triggers! Read at your own discretion! There are probably going to be a lot of touchy subjects in this story so please read at your own discretion. It is rated MA, for more than one reason, so please read with caution. Child abuse, violence, mild to strong language, M/M relationship, mentions of scars, forced nudity, mentions of blood, kidnapping, torture, character deaths, more warnings to be added as they arise.
> 
> Character tags will be added as the characters are introduced into the series.
> 
> Comments are welcome. Thanks for reading!

**Acceptance**

_in human psychology is a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it._

* * *

 

 

Daryl was six years old when his friend Missy Morton let him borrow a VHS copy of The Little Mermaid. He loved it. He was six years old when Merle started teasing him about being a girl.

Daryl was eleven years old when he knew he was different from the other boys his age. He liked other boys. He was eleven when his father's belt whipped it into his flesh, to remind him he was wrong to be different. Daryl was eleven when he had to accept that Merle wasn't going to protect him, not from their father.

Daryl was thirteen when Merle left for good leaving him alone with their father. He hated Merle. He was thirteen when he realized acceptance was a hard pill to swallow. He knew he had to.


	2. Acedia

**_ Acedia _ **

_is a state of listlessness or torpor. Of not caring or not being concerned with one's position or condition in the world. It can lead to a state of being unable to perform one's duties in life._

* * *

 

 

Daryl pulled his knees to his chest, curling into a ball. His whole body hurt, it was the only things he was feeling. He hadn't bothered to get out of bed. He hadn't bothered to fix breakfast for his father. He hadn't bothered to go to school. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

Daryl didn't want to be in the house. The same house that his passed out drunk father was in. A father that was currently passed out on Daryl's floor. He didn't want to be in the house but he couldn't bring himself to leave either.

Daryl was at the point where he didn't care about anything. He had taken one of the worst beatings from his father the previous night. He was pretty sure his father had beaten all feelings out of him. Daryl was numb. Maybe, just maybe, numb was the best way to be.


	3. Admiration

**_ Admiration _ **

_is a social emotion elicited by people of competence, talent, or skill exceeding standards. Admiration facilitates social learning in groups and motivates self-improvement through learning from role-models._

* * *

 

Daryl didn't have many role models in his life. His mother was a drunk. He swore she loved her cheap wine more than she loved him. Still he loved her. His father was as bad with drinking. The only difference is that his father was an angry drunk. Daryl hated it when they drank.

Neither one of his parents had many skills that Daryl found admirable. Getting so drunk that you passed out every night was nothing to admire.

The one thing his father was good at was hunting. He was too much of a drunk now to do it but he had passed it on to Daryl and his older brother Merle. Daryl did have admiration for hunters and trackers. He and Merle shared that admiration.

Daryl felt at home when he was in the woods.


	4. Adoration

**_ Adoration _ **

_is respect, reverence, strong admiration or devotion in a certain person, place, or thing._

* * *

 

 

Daryl felt like screaming as his face heated up with frustrating embarrassment. His brother made his so mad. The things that he would say to Daryl hurt and all Daryl felt like doing was punching him in the mouth right now.

Merle was saying that Daryl was Rick's bitch. That Rick didn't respect him. Daryl respected Rick, he was pretty sure the older man respected him too.

Daryl hung his head, staring at his hands as Merle continued to go on and on about Rick and Daryl's relationship.

"Your devotion to that man is sick!" Merle snapped. "His kind looks down on our kind..." He pushed Daryl rather hard causing him little brother to stumble.

Daryl let out a growl.

"He does not have the adoration towards you, that you have for him. It's a little sad you can't see that Little Brother."

Daryl let out another growl.

"You are nuttin' but a piece of white trash ass to him..."

Daryl swung, punching Merle. "Will ya shut up!" He knew he needed to get away from his brother before they both got hurt.


	5. Affection

**_Affection_ **

_is a "disposition or state of mind or body" that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. "Affection" is popularly used to denote a feeling or type of love, amounting to more than goodwill or friendship. Even a very simple demonstration of affection can have a broad variety of emotional reactions, from embarrassment to disgust to pleasure and annoyance. It also has a different physical effect on the giver and the receiver._

* * *

 

  
Affection was not something that Daryl used to. For the longest time he couldn't remember the last time he received a hug. When he was little he knew he got hugs from his mother daily. He was pretty sure that the hugs stopped around the age of seven. His mom had started drinking again. She could barely take care of herself, let alone worry about hugging him. It had been so long he forgot what they felt like.

His father was never one for showing any affection towards him. Daryl remembered running up to his old man when he would get home from work, hugging him around the leg. His father would always push him away. Sometimes Daryl would get hit for it. Daryl learned fast not to expect hugs from his father.

Merle would let Daryl hug him if no was around to see the said hug. Daryl could always tell it made Merle uncomfortable, even angry sometimes. So, after a while, he stopped hugging Merle. Merle didn't object.

So, when Daryl started receiving affection from Rick, a man Daryl had a lot of feelings for, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. It started out as small touches on the arm, a brush of a hand against his. Then it moved to actual hugging. Daryl's stomach did flipflops. It wasn't something he was used to. It was that he could get used to.

"Are you okay?"

Daryl pulled back from the hug that Rick currently had him in and smiled. "'m good."

Rick returned the smile and then pulled Daryl back into his arms.


	6. Ambivalence

** Ambivalence **

_is a state of having simultaneous conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings towards some object. Stated another way, ambivalence is the experience of having an attitude towards someone or something that contains both positively and negatively valanced components. The term also refers to situations where "mixed feelings" of a more general sort are experienced, or where a person experiences uncertainty or indecisiveness._

* * *

 

Daryl sat quietly on the couch with his knees pulled to his chest. He listened carefully to his older brother talking on the phone. He had known that Merle was in a mood the moment he walked into the house. He didn't know what caused the mood. When Merle was in a mood that he was at the current moment Daryl didn't know if it was going to be a good thing or a bad thing. He knew to give his brother space. Daryl would stay quiet until spoken to.

Merle was pacing the room and his voice rose in octaves as he continued to talk on the phone. He was glancing at Daryl every time he would turn back towards him. Daryl was beginning to get nervous. Merle wasn't acting mad towards him but when he was like this, Daryl never knew what was going to happen until it was happening.

Daryl loved his brother very much but at times like this he hated him too. He let out a sigh when Merle hung up the phone and braced himself for what was to come.


	7. Anger

** Anger **

_Anger or wrath is an intense emotional response. It is an emotion that involves a strong uncomfortable and hostile response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat. Anger can occur when a person feels their personal boundaries are being or are going to be violated. Some have a learned tendency to react to anger through retaliation as a way of coping. Stratified anger into three modalities: cognitive (appraisals), somatic-affective (tension and agitations), and behavioral (withdrawal and antagonism). Anger as a pressure cooker: we can only apply pressure against our anger for a certain amount of time until it explodes._

_Anger is an emotional reaction that impacts the body. A person experiencing anger will also experience physical conditions, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and noradrenaline. Some view anger as an emotion which triggers part of the fight or flight brain response. Anger is used as a protective mechanism to cover up fear, hurt or sadness. Anger becomes the predominant feeling behaviorally, cognitively, and physiologically when a person makes the conscious choice to act to immediately stop the threatening behavior of another outside force._

* * *

 

Rick leaned against the doorway watching the younger man. He knew something was bothering him, he didn't know what it was that had him so upset. Rick watched as his best friend stilled in his steps, stopping his pacing. "What's wrong?" He finally asked.

Daryl let out a growl and a hiss of pain as he flexed his fingers.

"What did you hit?" Rick stepped into the room and reached out for Daryl's hand.

Daryl jerked away from him out of habit.

Rick cringed. He hated when the younger man did that. "Please don't pull away from me," he reached out again and took Daryl's hand in his own looking at the knuckles. "What happened?"

Daryl let out another hiss of pain as Rick pressed on his knuckles. When Rick moved his fingers, Daryl fought the urge to pull away from him. He didn't feel like talking. He was angry and he didn't want to take a chance of taking it out on Rick. When Rick pulled on his arm he finally looked up at him. "Merle's ugly face..." Daryl mumbled.

Rick raised his eyebrows, "Merle's face is this hard? To do this much damage?" He didn't believe that one punch would have caused that much damage to Daryl's hand.

"Well, no..." Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip. "I sorta punched the wall after."

Rick let out a sigh, "what did he say?" He knew Daryl had to have had some real anger built up to have punched his older brother. He swore Merle could get away with way too much where Daryl was concerned.

"Doesn't matter..."

Rick let out another sigh. He pulled Daryl towards him. He knew the younger man needed a hug. Rick found himself smiling when Daryl wrapped his arms around him, returning the hug. "You can talk to me." He could feel Daryl’s heart racing.

Daryl nodded. He knew he could, he didn't know if he wanted to. He didn't want to make Rick angry too.

Rick ran his hand up and down Daryl's back. "He was on about us again?"

Daryl nodded again.

Rick let out another sigh and hugged his boyfriend tighter.


	8. Boredom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl wasn't sure. He pulled the zipper granting him access to space beyond. Carl made his way to the stool and sat down, picking up the crossbow. It was heavier than he thought it was going to be. He knew he wouldn't have made it this far if Daryl wasn't injured.

Boredom

  
Carl started kicking the dirt with the toe of his shoes. The dust was rising around his feet. Man was he bored. Sophia was busy playing 'girl stuff' with Eliza. They had offered to let him play with them. They were playing Power Rangers or Pokémon. Carl wasn't sure which it was. Louis was playing with them. Carl didn't want to play, he sucked at games like that. Why couldn't they play tag or something like that?  
  
Carl could hear the other three kids laughing and playing. He let out a sigh. Carl stood up and headed to the grouping of tents. There weren't that many people around the tents but he knew at least one person was in the tents. He found the tent he was looking for and peeked in through the screen door. The first thing he noticed was the crossbow propped up against the wooden stool inside. His eyes wandered to the sleeping form lying on the sleeping bag.   
  
Daryl Dixon was lying on his stomach fast asleep or still knocked out from yesterday. He had received a hard whack to the head. Carl wasn't sure. He pulled the zipper granting him access to space beyond. Carl made his way to the stool and sat down, picking up the crossbow. It was heavier than he thought it was going to be. He knew he wouldn't have made it this far if Daryl wasn't injured. He couldn't help the startled yelp he let out as the older man sat up.   
  
"What tha hell..." Daryl mumbled, trying to get his eyes to focus. "Whatcha doin'?" He asked when his eyes focused on the young boy sitting across from him, his crossbow in his lap.   
  
Carl stuttered out a few words, none of which made any sense. He took a deep breath and let it out. "I am bored," he admitted.   
  
Daryl rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand. His head was hurting something terrible. "So ya playin' with my bow out of boredom?"  
  
Carl nodded.  
  
Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip, "it's notta toy, put it down."  
  
Carl nodded again. He sat the bow back down.  
  
Daryl narrowed his eyes, watching the young boy. "Now get out..."  
  
Carl nodded again. He got up and walked to the door. "Sorry..." He glanced back at Daryl.  
  
Daryl nodded and started chewing on his bottom lip again.


	9. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What da hell happened?" Daryl muttered. He knew someone was in the tent but he didn't know who it was. His head hurt too much to open his eyes.
> 
> Glenn was worried about Daryl's confusion. "You really don't remember?" He slid closer to the sleeping bag Daryl was laying on.

Confusion

  
Glenn sat on the floor of the tent, legs crossed, watching the passed-out form of his friend. It had been a long time since Daryl's brother Merle had hit Daryl over the head with the butt end of the gun. Knocking Daryl out cold, he was still out cold. Glenn knew that he was probably being overprotective of his friend. Friend, could Glenn really call the other man that? He couldn't help it, he was worried.   
  
Glenn jumped when he heard Daryl let out a groan. It was the first real noise Daryl had made since his body had hit the dirt, eight hours ago.   
  
"What da hell happened?" Daryl muttered. He knew someone was in the tent but he didn't know who it was. His head hurt too much to open his eyes.  
  
Glenn was worried about Daryl's confusion. "You really don't remember?" He slid closer to the sleeping bag Daryl was laying on.   
  
Daryl let out a groan when he realized it was Glenn in the tent with him. He had thought it would be Merle. "Yah, I remember..." He wished he didn't remember.   
  
"Good, because I was worried that..."  
  
Daryl finally opened his eyes, narrowing them at Glenn. "I said I remember..." He didn't know what the young Asian wanted from him. Daryl slowly propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the tent. Merle was in the tent. He was on his sleeping bag passed out. He let out a sigh. "Who knocked him out?"  
  
"Shane..."  
  
Daryl let out a groan and let his head rest against the pillow. "You can go." When he didn't hear the other man move, Daryl picked his head back up and looked over at him. He didn't know why Glenn was still sitting there. He felt like lashing out, pushing the other man away, but his head hurt too much for that. He laid back down turning his back on Glenn.


	10. Disgust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Which brought them to the current state of what was making him even angrier. The little shit was lying on the floor at Will's feet, curled in on himself. He had also urinated on himself and the floor, caused by a few well-placed kicks to the boy’s stomach. 
> 
> Will reached down and grabbed Daryl by the hair, pulling the boy hard. He pushed Daryl's face into the puddle of urine. His bright blue eyes going wide with shock that quickly turned into panic.
> 
> A/N: This chapter contains abuse. Please read with caution. Thank you.

Disgust

  
"Ya disgust me, ya little piece of shit!" Will Dixon roared as he kicked his youngest son in the ribs for the fifth time. Everything had been going great, he had a good day at the garage. He had come home to an empty and quiet house. He started drinking his Moonshine and lit up a smoke. Then everything wasn't so great. His piece of a shit youngest son had come home with a black eye. Will had asked if the other kid looked worse and his son had responded that he never hit the other kid back. Will snapped.   
  
Will started beating the living shit out of him. Which brought them to the current state of what was making him even angrier. The little shit was lying on the floor at Will's feet, curled in on himself. He had also urinated on himself and the floor, caused by a few well-placed kicks to the boy’s stomach.   
  
Will reached down and grabbed Daryl by the hair, pulling the boy hard. He pushed Daryl's face into the puddle of urine. His bright blue eyes going wide with shock that quickly turned into panic.  
  
"Ya are disgustin', do ya see how ya are?" Will growled out. He shoved Daryl's face into the urine and Daryl fought, groaning and trying to pull away. Will let out another growl slamming Daryl's face against the floor. Urine splashed everywhere. He let out a noise of complete disgust and jumped back away from his son.   
  
Daryl let out a scream of agony as Will kicked him in the side.  
  
"Disgustin'," Will grumbled. He stumbled out of Daryl's room, leaving the boy lying in the urine.


	11. Embarrassment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick glanced back at Daryl when he heard the noise that escaped him. Daryl's face was redder than his own. The blush spread all the way down to his chest. "Sorry, I didn't know..."
> 
> Daryl grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed as fast as he could. In his rush, he almost fell face first on the floor of the tent. "Shit..." He hadn't remembered being this embarrassed before. Daryl finally looked over at Rick, the older man’s face was red too. He stayed silent until he had his clothes back on, "don't worry about it. No harm, no foul..."

Embarrassment

  
It had been a couple days since Daryl and Rick had started sharing the same tent. Rick hadn't been sure if Daryl would want anything to do with him after they couldn't find his brother, Merle. Daryl hadn't objected to Rick moving into the tent with him. Daryl hadn't tried to push Rick away. Rick was relieved by this. He didn't want the younger man to push him away. He wanted to get to know him better and sharing a tent would help him do that.   
  
Rick had been out patrolling the quarry with Glenn and Dale. He was tired and his feet were aching. He wanted to get back to the tent and get off his feet.   
  
When he got to the tent and ducked in through the half-open screen door he froze. Daryl was standing there back to Rick completely naked. Rick couldn't help but stare. He also couldn't help but notice all the scars covering Daryl's whole back. Long gashing scars and small circle scars. Even in the dim lighting, they were visible.   
  
Rick felt like walking right up to Daryl and wrapping his arms around him. He knew that the younger man wouldn't allow or even like that. No, it was too soon. There was a bowl of water that Daryl was clearly using to wash up sitting on the low table. Rick felt his cheeks heat up. He took a deep steadying breath and then cleared his throat. He turned his back to Daryl, granting him a little privacy.   
  
"Shit..." Daryl practically jumped out of his skin and let out a startled sound he had never heard come past his lips before. His face felt extremely hot.   
  
Rick glanced back at Daryl when he heard the noise that escaped him. Daryl's face was redder than his own. The blush spread all the way down to his chest. "Sorry, I didn't know..."  
  
Daryl grabbed his clothes and started getting dressed as fast as he could. In his rush, he almost fell face first on the floor of the tent. "Shit..." He hadn't remembered being this embarrassed before. Daryl finally looked over at Rick, the older man’s face was red too. He stayed silent until he had his clothes back on, "don't worry about it. No harm, no foul..."   
  
Rick smiled a small smile at Daryl. "I am sorry though."  
  
Daryl waved his hands in a dismissive manner, "we are sharing a tent, it was bound to happen."   
  
"Yes, but I didn't mean to embarrass you."  
  
Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip. "I'm good..."  
  
Rick's smile widened. 


	12. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear had taken a hold of him, deep in his stomach and he didn't know any other way to handle it. It was stupid. He was afraid of losing her yet he was trying to keep her at a distance. It didn't make sense to him. But he supposed that was how fear worked. It made you irrational.

Fear

  
Daryl knew he was being an ass to her and he knew he was lying when he said he wasn't afraid. The fact was he was full of fear. He was afraid of losing her. He had already lost everyone else. He was afraid he couldn't or wouldn't be able to save her. So yeah, he had been being an ass to her.  
  
Fear had taken a hold of him, deep in his stomach and he didn't know any other way to handle it. It was stupid. He was afraid of losing her yet he was trying to keep her at a distance. It didn't make sense to him. But he supposed that was how fear worked. It made you irrational.  
  
He hadn't been completely lying to her when he said he wasn't afraid of anything. Most things didn't scare him. But she had hit it right on the head when she said she saw how scared he was when Sophia had walked out of that barn, changed. He had lost her. He couldn't save her. He couldn't save anyone, she was better off without him.  
  
All the people he lost...Merle...he failed his brother. Hershel...he should have done more. Rick...he didn't know if he would ever see his best friend ever again. Carl and Lil' Ass-kicker...he was pretty sure ... Daryl shook his head, he didn't want to think about it. Carol...as far as he knew he had already lost her. Glenn, Maggie...hopefully, they had each other but he didn't know. Michonne...she had been out there with Hershel, he didn't know if she was alive.   
  
He lost them all. He didn't know if any of them were alive. He didn't know if he would find any of them ever again. Hell, he was afraid, even if he tried not to be. He failed everyone and he didn't know how to move past that. 


	13. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl nodded. "Forgiveness is overrated..."

Forgiveness

  
Rick let out a sad sigh. He started running his finger along the raised lines. Scars that littered the skin of the gorgeous man lying beside him. He knew that these scars were the results of many years of abuse and it broke Rick's heart. When he let out another sigh, Daryl turned his head so he was now looking at him.   
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Rick gave him a sad smile. He continued to run his finger along the large scar that ran from the top of his shoulder to the middle of his back. "You say your dad is still alive?"  
  
Daryl let out a sigh of his own and nodded. "Well, last I knew he was..." He narrowed his eyes at the look Rick was wearing on his face. It was a mixture of emotions Daryl wasn't sure of. "Why?"  
  
Rick looked up from his hand to Daryl's face. His man had his eyes narrowed at him. "We never talk about this," he ran his fingers along the scar again. He hated the man for causing so much damage to Daryl.   
  
Daryl shrugged his shoulders, "what's there to talk 'bout?"   
  
Rick frowned at that. "There's a lot to talk about," he knew that it was going to be a sore point to talk about for Daryl but Rick wanted to talk about it. "Do ya think you can ever forgive him?" He didn't know why he asked it.   
  
Daryl shrugged his shoulders again. "Who says I haven't?"   
  
Rick gave him another sad smile. He knew that Daryl hadn't forgiven his father. "Ya haven't...I know you." Rick knew that Daryl hadn't forgiven the man. Hell, Rick hadn't forgiven the man and Rick hadn't even known Daryl then. He wished he had known him because he would have done anything to keep it from happening.   
  
Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip. "Should I forgive him?"   
  
Rick shook his head but then let out a sigh. "I don't know. In counseling that Lori and I tried after our marriage started goin' down the drain, they talked about the model of forgiveness."  
  
Daryl turned so he was facing Rick, propping himself up on his elbow. Rick's hand was now resting on his side, on top of the scar he had received while looking for Sophia. "What did ya guys need to forgive?"   
  
Rick pressed his fingers against Daryl's side. "She thought I was cheatin' on her," he had to let out a chuckle.   
  
Daryl frowned, "why’d she think that?"  
  
"She said it was because I stopped talkin' to her," Rick shrugged. He wasn't sure why she thought he was cheating. He has never cheated on anyone in his life. "It doesn't matter now though..."   
  
Daryl nodded, "what is the model of forgiveness?"  
  
"The therapist said forgiveness is a journey through four phases." Rick smiled when Daryl raised an eyebrow at him. He knew that he should keep talking before Daryl shot down the idea completely. He wanted Daryl to talk to him about his past. But he didn't know if he wanted Daryl to forgive the man. "Phase one is the uncovering phase. Which stresses exploring the pain that the individual has experienced." Rick felt Daryl's muscles tense.  
  
"So ya want me to tell ya all about the beatin's I took every day?" Daryl watched as Rick's eyebrows knitted together.  
  
"Yes, I want ya to talk to me," Rick ran his hand along Daryl's side.   
  
Daryl started chewing on his bottom lip again. "Ya know that's a long story, right?" He couldn't look at Rick right now. Not if the older man wanted him to talk about the torture he had suffered at his father's hands. He started playing with a loose string in the sleeping bag between them. "Can I tell ya about it later? Tell me the other phases..."  
  
Rick nodded even though he knew Daryl wasn't looking at him. "Phase two is the decision phase, where the therapist talked about the nature of forgiveness and the individual commits that they will try to forgive the spouse..." Rick felt Daryl's eyes on him now. He looked up to find Daryl's eyebrow raised again. "What?"  
  
Daryl let out a small chuckle, "does this model of forgiveness apply to me and my pops? We aren't exactly married."  
  
Rick too let out a chuckle, "I think it applies to more than married folks."  
  
Daryl nodded his head once, "but ya don't think I should forgive him?"  
  
Rick shook his head again.   
  
Daryl let out another chuckle, "then why are we talking about this?"  
  
Rick let out a chuckle too, "because I want to talk about it."  
  
"Make ya feel better?" It wasn't really a question.   
  
Rick nodded and then squeezed Daryl's side again. "The last two phases are, the work phase which shifts the focus to the transgressor to gain insight and understanding..." Rick cringed when Daryl tensed, he hoped that this one wouldn't bother Daryl.  
  
"So ya think I should try to understand why he was beatin' me? To find a reason behind it?"  
  
Rick once again shook his head. He didn't think that that would be good for Daryl. He decided to press on. "The last phase is the deepening phase, where the victim moves toward resolution, becoming aware that he or she is not alone..." Rick ducked his head so he was in Daryl's line of sight. "You know ya aren't alone, right?"   
  
Daryl nodded, "I do now...now that I have ya with me." He didn't even care that his voice broke a little.   
  
Rick felt his heart tighten at the younger man's words. He wondered if Daryl ever let anyone as close to him as he has let Rick. He didn't think so and that made Rick's body tingle. Daryl's fingers brushed against the skin on Rick's bare chest and he shivered. "I am glad I found you, wish I had found ya sooner," Rick leaned in and kissed Daryl's forehead.   
  
Daryl let out a chuckle, "ya would have arrested Merle and my pops."  
  
"Yes, yes I would have..." Rick hoped that Daryl's father was no longer alive because he wasn't sure what he would do to the man if he ever saw him. Merle was almost too much to bear with the way he treated the others in the group. He couldn't imagine how he treated Daryl. He didn't think it was good, from what Glenn and the others had told him.   
  
Daryl let out a chuckle, "I think ya would'a done more than just handcuff my pops to a roof..."   
  
"Possibly..." Rick wasn't going to deny it. Yeah, the man that tortured his best friend didn't deserve forgiveness, not from either of them. "Let's get some sleep, love." He leaned in and kissed Daryl on the lips.  
  
Daryl nodded. "Forgiveness is overrated..."  
  
Both let out a chuckle. 


	14. Frustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now he knew that she was out there, close, but she seemed so far away. Frustration was all he felt right now. He hated it. He let out a loud growl, punching the dirt at his feet. Daryl knew he had to find her.

Frustration

  
Daryl crouched down feeling the stitches in his side pull tight. He was frustrated. He ended up getting hurt and now the search for the little girl seemed like it was going to stop. Honestly, he didn't blame Rick for not being out there helping him look for her. He had Carl to think about with all that had happened. But, everyone else, he was frustrated with them. They didn't seem to be really helping him. It seemed like it fell all on him to find the little girl.   
  
It seemed that at every turn his search seemed to find a dead end. Except that the last time he was out there searching he had found Sophia's doll. And for some reason that just made him even more frustrated.   
  
Now he knew that she was out there, close, but she seemed so far away. Frustration was all he felt right now. He hated it. He let out a loud growl, punching the dirt at his feet. Daryl knew he had to find her.


	15. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl was roughly forced down onto the cold concrete floor of the small cell. He knew was going to be his new home for God knew how long. He was still completely naked. But at least his wound in his shoulder was now tended too and he wasn't bleeding out anymore. The rest he was pretty sure he could handle. He sat in the corner of the room, back against the wall. Knees pulled to his chest. 
> 
> Everything was messed up. He didn't want to be here. But here he was. It was going to be a long road to get back to Rick and the others, but he was going to get back there.

Grief

  
Daryl fought against the hands as his clothes were forcefully stripped off him. He was beaten once again for it. A loud, deep chuckle broke out in the room. The beating didn't stop until he heard the voice that he didn't want to hear telling the men to stop.   
  
Daryl curled in on himself trying to hide as much of his exposed body as he could. They were trying to make him as vulnerable as possible and he hated it. They were trying to break him, and he knew it. His mind wasn't focused on himself though. His mind was focused on his family. The family he had been ripped away from. The family that had been so badly hurt. So badly broken.  
  
Daryl flinched when he sensed someone crouch down behind him and he hated himself for it. He could hear the man sigh and it made Daryl look back at him. There was a smile on the man's face and a cloth in the man's hand.   
  
"Daryl, Daryl, Daryl..." Negan let out another sigh, his smile fading. He shook his head and looked back up at the men around him. "Fat Joey, go get the Doc, we don't need Daryl bleeding out any more than he already has." Negan pressed the cloth he was holding against Daryl's shoulder wound. Daryl flinched again.  
  
Negan let his eyes roam over the other man's body. Even though all the blood that covered his body the scars that littered his whole back was visible. Someone had done a number on this man. And it wasn't this world they lived in now. "Who made all these marks on you?"  
  
Daryl let out a growl. "Bite me!"   
  
Negan let out a chuckle. "Shit...that..." he shook his head. Negan let out another sigh. "You are feisty, I like that about you. But your actions have consequences, I had to show you that, I had to show Rick that." Negan paused as he watched Daryl's eyes narrowed, there was a lot of fight in him still. He leaned down closer to Daryl's ear and the man flinched again. He couldn't help but wonder if it was him that Daryl acted this way with or if it was everyone. "You are the reason your friend is dead..."  
  
Daryl shook his head vigorously.   
  
"Oh, not Big Red... fuck that was to show you all that I meant what I said. But Daryl you didn't listen, I had to show you again. That one is on you..."  
  
Daryl shook his head again. He didn't want to hear those words coming for him.   
  
"Tisk, tisk Daryl don't deny it!" Negan let out a long breath against Daryl's ear. "You are to blame for it!"  
  
Daryl let out a roar and lunged at Negan. Successfully knocking the other man over. He got his hands around the other man's throat, squeezing. But it was short lived when hands were once again grabbing at him pulling him away from the man. He started getting kicked again.   
  
Negan let out an impressed whistle and got up off the floor. "Shit..." He dusted himself off as he walked closer to where Daryl was being kicked. "Now, now boys don't hurt him."   
  
At once all the kicks stopped and the men walked away from Daryl. He curled in on himself again.   
  
Negan let out another sigh as he crouched down beside Daryl again. "I killed that friend of yours to teach you a lesson. I took you away from Rick to teach him a lesson. You are mine now. Both you and him better fuckin' get on board with it or I will show you both how fuckin' serious I am about it."  
  
Daryl looked back up at Negan. He shook his head again. This time he wasn't denying anything it was a frantic shake of the head. "Do what you want to me, just...just...leave 'em alone..."  
  
Negan let out another chuckle. "Are you trying to bargain with me, Daryl? Leave who alone?" He raised his eyebrows.  
  
Daryl shook his head but stopped mid-shake. He nodded a quick nod. "Leave 'em all alone..."   
  
Negan shook his head. "I hope you are not telling me to leave Rick alone," he watched Daryl's eyes closely. They were starting to get that glassy look to them. "And for fuck's sake, I hope you are not still trying to tell me what to do?"   
  
This was a question, Daryl knew it was. He wanted to shake his head yes. He wanted to lunge at the man again. He wasn't sure what the older man would do to his family if he continued to act the way he was. If he could be positive that it would only be himself getting hurt, he wouldn't think twice about it. He decided not to do anything. He looked away from Negan again and remained quiet.   
  
  
  
Daryl was roughly forced down onto the cold concrete floor of the small cell. He knew was going to be his new home for God knew how long. He was still completely naked. But at least his wound in his shoulder was now tended too and he wasn't bleeding out anymore. The rest he was pretty sure he could handle. He sat in the corner of the room, back against the wall. Knees pulled to his chest.   
  
Everything was messed up. He didn't want to be here. But here he was. It was going to be a long road to get back to Rick and the others, but he was going to get back there. 


	16. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They seem happy," Rick whispered against Daryl's ear. 
> 
> Daryl nodded, "they are, are you?"
> 
> Rick nodded too. He let out a chuckle as Carl bedded for mercy from Beth. 
> 
> Happiness was achievable here.

Happiness

  
Daryl couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he watched the young boy sitting on the floor playing with the baby. The baby was cooing and laughing her small little laugh. She was full of pure happiness. She didn't know the wrongs of the world and that made Daryl happy.   
  
Daryl let out a chuckle when Lil' Ass-kicker threw one of her toys, hitting Carl in the face with it. Carl turned his attention to Daryl, a devious smirk on his lips. He picked up the toy and threw it at Daryl. Daryl dodged the oncoming toy and had to let out another chuckle when someone behind him let out a squeak of surprise.  
  
"Hey, that was rude!" Beth whined. She picked up the toy and threw it back at Carl.   
  
Carl laughed, catching the toy. He was grinning from ear to ear, "I wasn't trying to hit you, honest."  
  
Daryl smirked at Carl. He turned to look back at Beth and mouthed the words, 'Yes, yes he did,' at her.   
  
Beth grinned and rushed at Carl and Judith. She started ticking Carl, pinning him to the floor.   
  
Daryl let out another laugh that turned into a grunt when arms wrapped around him from behind. His smile grew.  
  
"They seem happy," Rick whispered against Daryl's ear.   
  
Daryl nodded, "they are, are you?"  
  
Rick nodded too. He let out a chuckle as Carl bedded for mercy from Beth.   
  
Happiness was achievable here.


End file.
